Words of affirmation and compliments have always been hard for me to take in. The more I think about it, I realize it’s because I don’t feel like it’s right of me to take them. I may be too concerned about crossing the line of being conceited or am just simply built a certain way because my family has reared me in a world of modesty and putting others before myself.
This deeper issue I bring up is all from going on two dates with one of the kindest, most caring, and fun guys I’ve ever come across. It’s just too bad it didn’t work out, and I had “the talk” with him today.
Through him, I realized that I am worth a pursuit, loved, and can actually attract a really good man.
It was the most interesting night, and on my way to meet him I was stopped by a homeless man on the street who was applying for an alcohol recovery program. He showed me the key chain pendant he had earned that day, and was so proud to tell me about it. After helping him out a little monetarily, I asked him a little more about the program and congratulated him for being on his way. He shouted in excitement that he was going to go back to Chicago and I wished him the best.
I left and told the man to take care for I was on my way to have a conversation I was dreading. He arrived right on time at the local Starbucks in Westwood on Broxton and Weyburn, and we actually had the most wonderful conversation. I’ve enjoyed every bit of getting to know him and he just continued to affirm me as to what an amazing man God was creating him to be.
I explained all there was to, and I couldn’t have asked for a more mature and loving response. I am excited to get to know him even more, and to remain good friends.
On my way out of the Broxton garage, the homeless man flagged me down once again and I was nervous because I was pulling out and only had essentially 10 seconds to explain to him I had just met him. But right when he took a closer look, he recognized me, and thanked me. No homeless man or woman has ever recognized me in my entire being. I say this because I’ve talked with some more than once. Again, I was affirmed that I was worth it and even human from, I’ll admit, the least likely people I would expect to.
God was teaching me, showing me, begging me to pay attention to something. I had never been told by another male being that I was beautiful (beside my own father) before. I had never been thanked by the opposite sex for being affirming and loving. I had never gone out on a date where someone genuinely was interested in getting to know me in all aspects of my life.
You see, I am learning that even a date or two can bring a woman’s confidence a thousand fold. I don’t mean to find your affirmation in those things, but I realize there’s a balance of knowing that God is doing something in your life through others as well as you being human and needing affirmation from other living souls.
This is Amy Hu signing off for July 16th, 2009.