Finally, an Interview: A Job Hunter’s Dream

I, Amy Hu, finally got a job interview. After sending out over twenty-five resumes, I succeeded in getting a response to come in. And I must say, the session went rather well.

I applied for a part-time office administration job as a helping hand to the Assistant Head of School, Ms. Joan Crawford (haha not the actress of course, or I would be working with a rotting corpse, though working with a zombie would be thrilling and she’d be a beautiful one) at Pacifica Christian High School, located right on Wilshire and 18th in Santa Monica.

This job was made for me. 20 hours a week, $15/hr, and a ten minute commute. The logistics is just a part of it–the school’s vision and mission is something I am definitely all for, and they’re heart for high school students is amazing. Joan told me how they even started the school, and it made me want this position even more. Eight educators all with prestigious teaching careers, giving up their stable and well-paying jobs in order to pursue what God was calling them to–to start this school five years ago. It wasn’t easy, but they trusted that this was what they were meant to do, and everything worked out in a miraculous way. Now with 160 students and many established  programs, they are an amazing and growing community.

Joan was interested in my journey to faith and my passions for media and video production. I couldn’t have asked for easier questions, and for her to actually want to hear who I was and what I did was really encouraging. This was definitely not your usual job interview. I was able to share passionately about these things, and she definitely was captivated. That’s always a good sign when someone like me tends to be the most verbose being you come across.

The only thing that threw me off was when she asked me what sort of challenges I come across in administration. I stumbled a little bit, and shared about how they way I organize things could use some work, but I always am grateful and open to people giving me better ideas to do so. I hope that was sufficient, it seemed so at the time.

She informed me there were a handful of applicants, and that I would hear back from her next week. So if you can, say a quick prayer for me. I’m going to need all I can get. And in the end, if I don’t get this job, I’ll wait for another 20 resumes. I want get out of the 12.2% unemployment club in California, so hey, gotta keep trying right?

This is Amy Hu signing off for October 2nd, 2009.

Someone Call a Doctor–Because I Clearly Can’t

It’s official: I am ill.

Ill-fated? It only seems that way. I am just simply not well in my soul. Sick. Unhealthy. Dying, even. Lord, help me.

What lies ahead is more than I ever imagined. How did I let things get so far? I was a fool to think I could do it on my own strength. But clearly, my judgment is skewed and my selfishness takes the best of me.

The next ten weeks seem like forever. In ten weeks, people can make life-changing decisions, encounter the impossible, and alter their realities. But in the scheme of my whole entire life, ten weeks is nothing if it means it sets me up for a lifelong process of healing and dealing.

You see, I am beginning a journey of finally dealing with the brokenness of my past and moving forward. I am seeing the ways I am in need of such healing and learning what it means to engage with my emotions. I have learned at a young age to suppress any of my feelings because as a child, when injustices occur and traumatizing experiences happen to you, you are simply not built to engage with those emotions.

So, what do I now do with my time? I am taking time off of ministry and seeing the consequences of my external sin. It’s amazing how when you are in such a vulnerable state and continue to not let God be who He wants to be in your life, a deep darkness and evil can grab you and suffocate every fiber of your being until you are numb and forget everything. By then, you have nowhere to turn but to God because you’ve lost it all. Nothing will really ever satisfy you, but you still continue to settle and convince yourself otherwise. It’s a terrible place to be in.

What is more terrible is the ways it not only affects you, but those around you. Being apart from God really does mean being apart from the things you love, and at that point, you begin to deeply understand how truly God is in everything.

I can either choose to continue to dwell on regret, shame, anger, disappointment, and frustration, or I can choose to trust that this is the next step and that God is truly the Great Redeemer of all. He already has been bringing me closer to the light at the end of the tunnel, and it gives me a hope beyond what my head can comprehend.

I am definitely not amazing without structure, so the upcoming weeks will definitely stretch me, but also indeed grow me. I will learn to take risks and challenges, and discipline myself. These weeks are by no means a waiting period, but I am taking one day at a time towards what I know is good.

I can share more about what is going on as I gain more perspective on things, and it seems I already have. I’m more ready than I’ll ever be. I pray for a strength beyond myself, a creature of nothing but dust.

This is Amy Hu signing off for September 26th, 2009.

Good Mourning, Amy

Life after college has been alright.

I’m still in a stage of mourning, but the good kind. So I guess that would make it good mourning. Haha.

I have a lot of regrets and a few things I would take back if I could. But as I reflect on it, I feel more of the gratitude for the experience I’ve been given. I couldn’t have asked for a more fulfilling experience during my four years at UCLA.

I experienced what it meant to have meaningful, deep relationships. I was able to explore my passions in different types of media. I pursued social justice and learned to rely on hope in a hopeless world. I gained a plethora of knowledge in fields of all kinds. I developed a sense of work ethic and leadership. I understood what it meant to be loved, known, and accepted. And most of all, I finally understood what it meant to follow Jesus.


And as a result, I visioned for and grew a heart for college students. I may still be living on Landfair Ave right next to UCLA, but there’s been a change of perspective, a distance from the campus I once belonged to. But my heart is ready and willing to give my entire being to a vision and a hope that InterVarsity has pressed deep into my soul.

I’ll fight it sometimes, and I may even forget why I am still surrounded by drunken, yelling college students. But I can trust that God is going to continue to give and show me more. I want to believe that my life gets better from here.

Let’s see.

This is Amy Hu signing off for August 13th, 2009.

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