I got one wisdom tooth pulled yesterday. Yup, just looking like half a chipmunk. Kind of strange. You probably couldn’t take me seriously if you saw me. Something I noticed.

I didn’t “go under”–apparently the dentist my dad took me to didn’t practice general anesthesia. Probably would have been helpful prior to sitting down in the dentist chair with the drill in her hand. Oh well.

So I suffered through the whole process. Worst points were when I could feel the pain of both the cutting and drilling–wasn’t enough Novocaine as well as feeling like Dr. Chao was holding down my jaw so hard she was going to rip it out as if we were on a zombie movie set. It’ll haunt me for the next couple of days.

I’m going to have to go back at least once to get the other bottom and top ones done. She didn’t recommend I do all at once because of how impacted my tooth had grown into my bone and other teeth. So another trip to endure being awake during dental torture is something I obviously do not look forward to.

In thinking about my life in general, I kind of feel like I’m in that chair all the time. All the hard things God is bringing up in this season of life is finally pressing in on me, waiting to come out like my wisdom teeth. I can’t pretend like it doesn’t bother me anymore–it’s affecting my jaw with its consistent popping, painful pushing against my other teeth, and the hitting of my nerves. Similarly, I can no longer pretend the things I need healing for from my past aren’t there. It would be a lie to say they aren’t causing me to stumble, to fall, and to forget. I need to take it out.

Things would be so much easier if I could just be put to sleep and wake up with all my wisdom teeth pulled out. But for some reason, God wants me to sit through the long and torturous process. Every cut, every drill, every shot, and every pull. But it’s not like He’s not giving me Novocaine to ease the pain. He’s with me the whole way and wants me to feel and see how the tooth is taken out.

It’s not the greatest analogy in the world, but it makes sense. My conscience is dulled and I need to feel the pain, regret, and consequences or I will live life without paying attention to the tugs at my heart and gut feelings. I’ve reached a point where there is nowhere to turn but to Him, and it is a good place to be.

I’m ready for my next appointment Doctor. Just give me more Novocaine.

This is Amy Hu signing off for August 22nd, 2009.